


Full House

by My_floaty_coaty_boy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Cas and Jimmy are twins, Cheesy, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Meeting the Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-17 10:25:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14830508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_floaty_coaty_boy/pseuds/My_floaty_coaty_boy
Summary: Castiel has 14 siblings. It's his birthday, and due to it being shared with Jimmy and Hannah, the other two of triplets, the whole Novak clan gathers. Basically, an experiemnt to see how many characters I could fit comfortable into a one shot. Read if you want ,this is another WIP that I needed to clear out.





	Full House

They’d met sometime in April, when Castiel had pulled him from the path of an oncoming bus. Dean, shocked at both his near miss and the handsome blue-eyed stranger that had pulled him back, said the first thing that came into his mind.

“Uh…Thanks.” Coherent as ever.

The man smiled tightly. “You’re welcome.”

His voice was gruff, and far be it for Dean to have a chick-flick moment, but he knew from that moment he had a crush like a car-compactor.

Dean had insisted on buying the guy dinner (“For savin’ my life, dude, c’mon,”) and the stranger, Castiel, had accepted.

Their date was, as first dates go, one of Dean’s best. They went to Castiel’s favourite burger place, which was how Dean learned that a) burgers were Cas’ favourite food, and 2) Cas made noises when he ate good food that Dean would class as _sinful_.

They talked, and discovered both were studying at KU, Dean finding his feet in Engineering and Castiel diving into his Culinary course. He and his brother Gabriel had plans to start a bakery when he graduated. That was their segue to family. Dean gushed about his little brother Sammy who was ‘ _still in high school but is gonna go to Stanford and be a kick-ass lawyer, Cas, I just know it_.’ He talked about his mother and father, and uncle Bobby and aunt Ellen who practically raised them with their cousin, Jo. Bobby owned a scrapyard and Ellen, a restaurant, and Dean couldn’t be prouder of any of them, (a feature that Castiel found more endearing than he cared to admit.)

That’s how Dean found out that Castiel had _fourteen_ siblings.

“No.”

“What do you mean, ‘no’?” Castiel tilted his head in confusion.

“I mean, nobody has _that many_ siblings. I don’t believe you.”

Castiel chuckled. “Well, how should I prove it?”

“Name them.”

Castiel rolled his eyes and leant forward on his elbows, as if physically stepping up to Dean’s ‘challenge’. He took a breath, and began. “There’s Michael, Lucifer, Balthazar, Gadreel, Raphael, Benjamin, Rachel, Bartholomew, Ezekiel, Gabriel, Jimmy, Hannah, Anna, and Alfie.” At Dean’s amazed stare, he grinned.

“Do it again.”

He did.

“Wait, I’m gonna try. So: Michael, Lucifer, Buh…Balthazar? Gabriel, G…The other ‘G’ one, Rachel, Hannah, Anna, and…Alfie?”

Castiel laughed at him, and Dean couldn’t help but join in.

Their second date was a walk in the park. Literally: Dean was dog-sitting for Ash, one of his best friends, and had invited Castiel to join him. Turned out, Cas loved animals, and Dean decided that he loved watching Cas play with the scruffy blond mutt, named Zeppelin, as they chased each other around the park. They’d walked back to Cas’ apartment and before going back up, Cas planted a kiss on Dean’s cheek.

 

They’d arranged their third date for the next week, but Castiel called him three hours before he was due to pick him up.

“ _Dean, I can’t come tonight. I’m so sorry.”_

“Why? Is everything OK?”

It turned out that Castiel was ill, nothing major, but enough to bind him to his couch for a few days. Dean didn’t even second-guess himself on the way over with packs of ibuprofen, a hot water bottle, and a boxset of Firefly. They sat together, huddled under a mountain of blankets eating a broth that Dean _swore_ cured _every_ ailment, from a cold to tonsillitis.

“Hey, Cas?” Dean whispered as the fourth episode’s credits rolled.

“Mmm, yeah?” Castiel hummed, obviously tired.

“I’ve got a surprise for you, you ready?”

Castiel perked up moving from his place leant on Dean’s shoulder to look at him. “What is it?”

Dean cleared his throat. “Michael, Lucifer…Balthazar, _Gadreel,_ Raphael…Benjamin, Rachel, Bart, Zeke, Gabe, Jimmy, Hannah, Anna, and Alfie.” He grinned smugly, and Castiel laughed and pushed him gently.

“Do your talents ever cease?”

“I _know_!” Dean chuckled. “How lucky are you?”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

Over the next eight months, Dean heard a lot about Castiel’s siblings. He learned that Jimmy was a priest, (rather ironically, as he was the only one not named for an Angel,) and Hannah was a genderfluid witch. Jimmy, Hannah, and Castiel were triplets. Michael and Lucifer, the oldest, were the twins. They were lawyers, and fiercely competitive. He learned that the oldest three were from their father’s first wife, who he’d married when he was 17, the next four were from the second, and the triplets, Anna, and Alfie were from the third. Raph, Ben, and Bart had been adopted between Gadreel and Rachel’s births.

He quickly realised that family was everything to Cas, a viewpoint he could understand, although Dean’s family was significantly smaller.

So, when Castiel brought up his (and, of course, Jimmy and Hannah’s,) birthdays, Dean knew what was coming.

“Dean,” Castiel looked up at him from his seat on the floor, taking a break from his reading. He’d told Dean what book it was, but honestly Dean had completely forgotten.

“Yeah?” He smirked, putting down his pen. He didn’t need to completely stop making his notes from his own book to have a conversation with his boyfriend, but any excuse to stop studying was worth it.

Castiel put his book down and met Dean’s eyes. “Seeing as it’s our twentieth birthdays, my siblings have arranged to gather at Michael’s, and…I was thinking…well…I would like you to come with me.”

Dean had suspected this was going to be Castiel’s request, and, Hell, they’d been dating for months. This had been his longest relationship in a long time. So he grinned. “Sure, Cas. I’d love to. Are all your siblings gonna be there?”

Castiel smiled, and nodded. “Yes…Maybe. Lucifer might not show up; he and Michael just got over another spat and things are still a little…cold.”

Dean nodded understandingly. Michael and Lucifer fought more than anyone he’d ever heard of, except for maybe Sam and their father.

“What about their partners?” Dean asked.

“Well, I suspect Lucifer will bring Meg, Gabe’s girlfriend Kali will be there. Hannah might bring their girlfriend, too, if their coven feels as though it can spare two members at present. As for the others: Michael’s aromantic, and chooses to remain single, Balt’s partner is staying in England. Gadreel’s wife won’t be there because she can’t fly right now, Raphael is single because she wants to focus on her transition, but I think she’s started seeing someone secretly. Ben hasn’t known his girlfriend for too long and doesn’t wish to overwhelm her. Zeke’s boyfriend is on a year abroad right now. Jimmy might bring Amelia, but I doubt her parents will let her go.”

“So…four, including me?”

Castiel nodded. “You don’t have to come if it’s too much.”

“No, no, I want to. They’re important to you, Cas, so it’s important to me that I meet them.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

“Sam, help! How the _hell_ am I supposed to get along with all _fourteen_ of them?! Not to _mention_ three partners?!” Dean huffed. He wasn’t stressing, and he totally _wasn’t_ baking to ease his not-stress. Now he was calling Sam, not because of his stress, which _didn’t exist_ , but just because he was…catching up. Yep, that was it.

Sam just sighed, and Dean got the impression he was rolling his eyes. “I don’t know, Dean. But if they’re anything like Cas, it shouldn’t be too bad.”

Now, over their months together, Castiel had told Dean a lot about his family. They were close: After Alfie was born, his mother had died. A few months after, their father went too. Michael and Lucifer, merely 18 at the time, had stepped up to take care of all of them. The fucking Apocalypse would be easier than what they went through.

“I don’t know, Sam. I mean, you’ve met Jess’ family, right? How was that?”

Sam huffed. “She’s an only child and her parents are great. Sorry, Dean, but I can’t give you much advice beyond just be yourself. If you’re good enough for Castiel, you’re good enough for his siblings. You’ll do great.”

Dean sighed. “…Thanks, Sam. I’ll talk to you later, if they don’t rip me apart like a pack of fuckin’ wolves.” He hung up before Sam could laugh at him.

He stood in the kitchen, counting his breathes. He got to fourteen before he freaked out again.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“OK, so, run it by me one more time?”

Castiel huffed, rolling over to face Dean. “What _part_ of it is troubling you, Dean?”

“…Kind of…Well, the bit about…OK, so, who’s the one who…OK, all of it.” He was trying, really, but it took him a month to remember Jess’ name. He’d worked hard to name Cas’ siblings on their third date, and he was still amazed he’d managed it. How was he going to learn how to connect fourteen names to fourteen faces, but what red flags to avoid and interests to pick up on in the week until Cas’ birthday? It was _impossible._ When he articulated this, Castiel huffed.

“Well, Jimmy and I are twins, so you know what he looks like.”

Dean hit him with the pillow. “Not helping, asshole.”

Castiel pulled his phone from the dresser and opened up a photo Dean had seen before, in passing.

“This was us, a few years ago.” Sure enough, a slightly younger Cas grinned from the middle of the bundle of people, a purple paper crown stuck on his head with ‘Happy Bee-day, Cassie!’ scrawled on it. He was hugging a large fuzzy bee plush toy that Dean recognised; it was dirtier, but it was definitely the one that smiles down from atop their wardrobe. Dean couldn’t help but smile.

Castiel went on to point out each of his siblings. Some were blond, some brunet, Anna had strikingly red hair. Raphael had dark skin, Zeke was pale as snow. Jimmy, well, he looked like Cas, complete with a blue paper crown that had its own writing on, though Dean couldn’t make it out. He wouldn’t have guessed they were all related: even Hannah, with their green crown, looked different than Cas. And he would have stayed focussed, but Castiel made a good teacher, and it was giving Dean frankly distracting ideas that he proceeded to act upon. Multiple times.

~*~~*~*~***~*~*~*~*~*~

They pulled up to Michael’s large townhouse on the morning before the birthday, Castiel bouncing happily in his seat. He’d made sure they left early so they’d arrive before the others. The Impala pulled up the driveway, next to a fancy-ass BMW. Michael was successful, and it showed.

They’d barely parked before Castiel jumped out and scampered to the door, waiting until Dean caught up before knocking, still cradling the pies that they’d made. The siblings had negotiated a potluck to keep one person from making it all, and Castiel had volunteered Dean to bake his famous-among-their-friends pies. Three flavours: Apple, cherry, and pecan.

“ _Cassie!_ ” The man that answered the door was shorter and wore a wild grin, and from his briefing Dean knew that this was Gabriel. He knew Gabriel lived close, and Balthazar’s plane had arrived the day before, so they’d be the first arrivals. Sure enough, a faint British accent wafted from somewhere deeper in the house, and then a lanky blond man, maybe in his late 20s, joined them. Castiel hugged his brothers, semi-awkwardly over the pies in his arm, and stepped back to catch Dean’s hand in his.

“Dean, this is Gabriel,” he indicated to the short, mousy-haired one, “and Balthazar. Guys, this is Dean, my boyfriend.”

“Dean-o! Finally, I was beginning to believe Anna.” Gabriel snorted, and Cas rolled his eyes. When Dean looked at him curiously, he explained.

“Anna doesn’t think you exist.”

Balthazar grinned. “It’s good to meet you, Dean. Cas talks a lot about you. Come in, I’m sure there’s room.”

Castiel made that face that meant he was confused and tiled his head. “What do you mean?”

Gabriel snickered. “Well, it turned out that everyone had the idea to turn up early. You’re actually the last ones to show up, barring Rachel, Anna, and of course, Lucifer.”

Castiel groaned, and rolled his eyes, but tugged Dean inside.

The main room was large, but it looked tiny when full of twelve of the Novak family. Gabriel and Balthazar settled on the floor in front of the couch, which held six people. Two of them were standing in front of the large TV, clutching Wii remotes and following dance moves on the screen while Cotton-Eyed Joe blared from the speakers.

When Castiel and Dean entered, Castiel was tackled into a hug. He obviously wasn’t prepared, stumbling back a few steps, but he returned the hug with enthusiasm. Hannah pulled away from him only to draw Dean into a hug. He barely had time to respond before she’d pulled back again. She took his chin in her hands and inspected him, brows furrowed in a very Cas-like way.

“So you’re Dean, huh?”

“Uh…yeah, that’s me. You must be Hannah.”

She grinned. “Yup! I’m the better triplet, don’t let the others tell you otherwise. Dean, this is my girlfriend, April.” She waved at a fair-haired girl who was reading by the window. Arpil smiled and waved before returning to her book. Hannah stepped away, looking back at Castiel.

“Happy birthday, Cas.”

He matched her smile. “Happy birthday, Han.”

“Happy birthday, guys.” A man the spitting image of Castiel appeared behind them, entering from the kitchen.

They turned to him and Castiel embraced his twin. “Happy birthday, Jimmy. It’s good to see you.”

Jimmy moved to Dean and shook his hand warmly. “It’s wonderful to finally meet you, Dean, Cas talks a lot about you.”

Dean huffed. “I’ve been told; all good things, I hope?”

Castiel blushed and avoided his gaze, and Raphael snorted a laugh from where she clutched the Wii remote. “That, and some.” The TV screen declared loudly that Player One had lost, and she sighed before offering the remote around.

The shortest of the group, a blond-haired kid, ( _Alfie,_ Dean’s brain offered,) whooped from his victory. “C’mon, Balthazar, press play so I can prove I’m better at this than you!”

Balth gaped at him. “Oh, kiddo, you’re gonna get it.” He pressed play and the song looped.

Cas pulled Dean to the edge of the sofa, pushing Benjamin further along, forcing Ezekiel onto the floor. Dean considered each of the siblings individually, pleased when he was able to name them all.

“Gabe, I thought Kali would be here?” He nudged his brother lightly with his foot.

“Uh, yeah, we’re…’off again’.” Gabe sighed, and Dean got the sense that this happened a lot, but he didn’t press and neither did Cas.

~*~~*~*~*~*~*~**

They ate late, but dinner went smoothly. Michael was stern in a way that some may mislabel as ‘cold’, but Dean could see the small smiles and the almost unnoticeable eyerolls he gave when one of them made a bad joke. The seemingly mean comments he made were met with snarky replies and lightly mocking faces, but Dean could tell there was no heat or anger behind them.

The food was a mismatched jumble, but it all tasted good and he thought he won a few of the siblings over with his pies alone. After they’d eaten their full, Dean offered to do the dishes and the Novaks offered Alfie to join him. He tried to argue, but being the youngest, he was outvoted.

So, Dean washed and Alfie dried and put away, while the others moved back into the other room. Cas proclaimed he was going to move their stuff from the Impala to their room, and Gabriel went with him.

“There’s not enough room for a room each, so you’ll both have to share with Jimmy. He’s offered to take the air mattress.”

When he was done, Dean went to find his boyfriend, but was slowed by the hushed conversation he heard in the front room.

“No, but I don’t think he’s avoiding coming. I think he’s just caught up at work.”

“We all have jobs, Bartholomew, that doesn’t mean he can just blow us off. This is the first time in _years_ we’ve all been together.”

“Well, maybe he’s just late; he sent Rachel a message sayin’ he’d be here soon.”

“Well, I don’t think he’s coming.”

“Hello, Dean.” Dean turned towards the stairs, where Castiel stood, Gabe behind him.

“Hey, Cas. I-I was lookin’ for you.”

Gabriel pushed past Cas. “Ugh. Sickening. Absolutely disgusting. I’d tell you to get a room, but, uh…” He looked up and down at Dean as he passed, “Cas says you can be pretty loud.”

Dean’s eyes shot up at Cas, who’s face had gone redder than Iron-man’s suit.

Cas followed his brother and grabbed Dean’s hand. “I may have misjudged this. I think this may be harder for me than you.”

Dean snorted. “What _part_ of this is troubling you, Cas?”

Cas rolled his eyes and tugged Dean into the room, all twelve of the Novaks, (barring Anna, Rachel, and Lucifer, who Dean was sure they were talking about before,) were gathered around the TV. Gadreel loaded a disc into the DVD player and Balthazar thrust a glass of something into Dean’s hand. Cas picked one up from the table.

“What’re we gonna do?” Dean asked, following Cas to take their old seats on the couch.

“We’re gonna get drunk of every bottle of everything in this house and binge some stupid movies or something and talk about how terrible they are. It’s cathartic.” Hannah grinned.

Alfie sighed, and turned to go. The siblings wined in protest, but the 14-year-old laughed. “No, you guys are embarrassing when you’re drunk!”

“We’ll let you have some!” Gabriel teased.

Alfie just rolled his eyes and moved upstairs.

“ _Don’t be a buzzkill_!” Cas teased up the stairs, and the older siblings jeered and pointed, before each of them took a shot. Castiel swore.

“Wh…Is there a drinking game about you?” Dean grinned.

Cas rolled his eyes. “It…It’s a long story.”

“ _AWW_!” The siblings chorused.

“When he was a kid, Cassie set us a ‘save the bees’ campaign thing, and the slogan was ‘don’t be a buzzkill’. He worked the word ‘buzzkill’ into his vocab so much that he still says it and when he _does_ , we drink!”

The Novaks cheered and raised their glasses in sync, like this was a long-practised ritual. Dean realised that ‘buzzkill’ was indeed Castiel’s go-to word in times of crisis, and chuckled.

After that, Dean got drunk. They all did, and it was great.

*~*~~*~*~**~*~*~*~~*

His head hurt. It was too early. Why was he awake?

“I mean, I guess he’s cute.”

“‘Cute’? Rach, he’s _gorgeous_! D’you think Cassie would mind if things didn’t work out, then I could—”

“Don’t you _dare_ , Anna. You know how Cas feels about this guy. Shh! Shh, I think he’s waking up!”

The high-pitched whispers briefly threw him. He groaned and opened his eyes, taking in the scene at his door.

Two of them, one looking rather abashed at being caught, the redhead smirking. They stood in the corridor. “Hey?” He murmured. “I sure hope you’re Castiel’s sisters, or I’m calling the police.”

The red-headed one—Anna, probably—snorted. “Yeah, you better be his boyfriend, or both of you are in trouble.”

He sat up, suddenly feeling rather shy. The way they were looking at him was weird.  “Anna, right?”

The red-headed girl nodded, and indicated to the short blonde to her left, “Right. This is Rachel.”

She waved.

From what Castiel had told him, Dean knew that Anna was yonger by about a year, while Rachel was older by seven. “How was the trip? You guys came from,” his sleep-addled brain turned over a few times, grasping for the information Castiel told him, “…Washington, right?”

“Yup,” Rachel said, popping the ‘p’, “Alfie’s downstairs, I think everyone else is pretty much smashed.”

“Uh-huh. I should get up, then.” They didn’t move. He shot them looks, and Rachel turned, sighing but heading downstairs. Anna didn’t move. “D’you mind?”

“Not really.”

“Anna! Stop bothering him!” The voice from downstairs, the first familiar voice he’d heard today, was enough to make Anna slump off.

 

He was down the stairs in minutes, meeting five of the siblings, (Anna, Hannah, Rachel, Alfie, Jimmy,) crowded around the TV and throwing cereal pieces at each other. He heard Castiel follow him, but go straight to the coffee maker (a creature of habit, if Dean ever saw one.)

“Dean-o!” Gabriel grinned at him, appearing from the kitchen and offering a bowl of Froot Loops. “I bought them on the way over, ‘cause Michael _never_ used to like good cereal.”

Dean flashed him a tight smile in gratitude and took the bowl, settling on the arm of the couch to eat.

It took him point-five seconds to realize his mistake.

The cereal was covered in salt. He groaned, and Gabe fell about laughing. The others all seemed to find it funny too, and even Cas looked like he was hiding a smile as he replaced the ruined food with edible cereal.

 “Traitor.” Dean pouted, but Castiel just rolled his eyes and kissed him.

Choruses of ‘aww’ and ‘ewww’ mingled with each other, so Dean took a chance and flipped them off over Castiel’s shoulder.

When he pulled away, he turned to Gabe. “How are you not hungover?”

Hannah snorted. “Gabe’s probably still drunk. The rest of us just know how to deal with it. We ate a lot and had water between each drink. Then you don’t get a hangover.”

 _Life Hacks with the Novaks_ , Dean mentally sung as he sat between Castiel and Anna.

~*~*~*~*~*

Lunch was eventful.

It took them an hour and a half to get anywhere close to deciding where to go before they gave up and Alfie suggested a chain joint called Biggerson’s. Castiel reluctantly agreed, and with that, a decision was made.

They didn’t get too far though, as Dean opened the door to lead the group out and instantly bumped into someone. They stared at each other for a few moments while Dean’s brain kicked into gear again.

“Lucifer.” Castiel seemed surprised, but he recovered quickly. “I didn’t think you’d be getting here until later.”

“- _or at all._ ” Someone hissed, almost inaudibly.

The man in front of them, Lucifer, looked Dean up and down. It made him feel exposed. He supressed a shiver as he replied, “Well, sorry I couldn’t leave earlier. I was busy with work.”

Castiel huffed, and pushed the others outside so he could see the new arrival easier. “That’s understandable. We were just about to go to lunch. Would you like to join us?”

Lucifer’s mouth moved in a way Dean hesitated to call a smile. “Castiel, you haven’t even introduced us.” His tone made it clear what kind of person Lucifer was, and it put Dean on edge.

Castiel blinked, not moving, his voice suddenly a lot colder than Lucifer’s. “Luc, this is Dean. Dean, this is Lucifer, the second brother.”

Lucifer turned his half smile to Dean again. “Charmed, I’m sure.”

“I thought Meg was joining you, Luci?” Balthazar broke the tension, and Lucifer sighed.

“Meg was indisposed.”

“ _More like arrested_.” Jimmy whispered to Dean.

“C’mon! I’m _hungry!”_ Anna sighed loudly, pushing past them and leading the family along.

Lucifer turned to follow the group, and Dean shot a look at Cas, who just rolled his eyes and smirked, picking up the pace to lead his siblings in the right direction.

 

The walk to Biggerson’s was short, but enough for Dean to strike up a conversation with Alfie “Hey, man.”

Alfie looked startled, as if he wasn’t used to being spoken to. “Uh, hi.”

“Can I ask you a question?” When Alfie nodded, Dean began, “Castiel told me that your real name is Samandriel. Where did ‘Alfie’ come from?”

Alfie blushed. “Uh, nowhere. I…I don’t really know.”

“Ha! Liar!” Gabriel and Hannah dropped back to easier talk to them. “It’s a funny story, Alf, you should be proud!” Not to be deterred by Alfie’s light shove, Gabe continued, “So, when Alfie-boy was, like, thirteen, he got a job at this hotdog place, right? Only, he had to lie about his age so they’d let him work.”

Dean nodded. Having grown up on the road, he was no stranger to telling little white lies to get extra money. “What’s funny about that? You guys were raised by your brothers, right? So, extra work would be good.”

Gabriel snorted. “Yeah. We were all workin’ by fifteen, puttin’ in for bills and rent and stuff. But Alf’s always been…a bit paranoid.”

“Hey!” Alfie— Samandriel—exclaimed. “It’s not paranoia. I didn’t want to get caught; it was safeguarding.”

Gabe snorted. “Sure, bud.” Looking back to Dean, he continued, “So, he thought it’d be smart to apply under a different name. Which meant fake ID. And, to _safeguard_ , a whole different life as ‘Alfie’. Alf had a mom, two siblings, a few cousins. And, oh, yeah, a dad in jail. God knows _why_ ,” Gabriel turned to Alfie, looking at him like he already knew the answer, and just wanted his brother to say it.

Alfie sighed. “It was the interview. I panicked.  I…made up a fake life, and kept it secret from you guys for, like, a year, until Gabe, Cas, Hannah, and Luc showed up and blew my cover. I was fired on the spot.”

Gabriel pulled him into a melodramatic hug, one hand resting on his own forehead like a damsel in distress. “And he’s been ‘Alfie’ ever since.”

“That’s not it, though. He picked ‘Alfie’ after Alf, the weird puppet thing.” Hannah sniffed.

OK, _that_ was funny. Dean scoffed.

Castiel appeared at his side, seemingly from nowhere, grabbing his hand and slotting their fingers together.

“So, Dean, did Cas ever tell you about the time that he broke his wrist getting—”

“Oh, look at that, we’re here.” Castiel cut Hannah off, deadpan, and pulled Dean inside.

 

Lunch was eventful. It had to be, with that many people. The food was OK, not as good as Ellen’s, but not as bad as Sam’s. The waiter gave him a concerned look as the siblings squabbled over ordering. He just hummed and handed them back the menu and placing his and Cas’ orders while Cas argued with Gadreel about the plot of Die Hard Two. Dean had never been prouder. He contributed, never one to not talk about Die Hard, and when they convinced Gadreel that, yes, the second one was the worst, he added some points to the mental tally he’d been keeping in his head titled ‘Proof that I’m the best boyfriend ever’.

“So, Cassie,” Gabriel grinned, “how’s life in the south?”

“Quite nice, actually. My course is going well, and Dean’s family live close.”

“Ah, so it’s the free food that you stay with him for.” Lucifer smirked.

“That and the stimulating conversation.”

Balthazar snorted. “’Conversation’ here meaning the size of his—”

“ _Protect the children!”_ Jimmy and Anna hissed, leaning over Alfie, squishing him against the side. He groaned in protest, and the table laughed.

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

“Happy birthday.”

They were back at the house, and up in the room Dean, Cas, and Jimmy were sharing. The black-haired man had just come in, smiling at Dean, who was sitting on the bed, book in hand.

“Thanks. Y’know, I’m so used to sharing the day with the other two, I almost said ‘you too’.”

Dean snorted. “What was it like, growing up in such a crowded house. I can’t even imagine it, growin’ up the way I did: Mom workin’ a day shift somewhere and a night shift somewhere else, and Dad away eighty-percent of the time.”

“That sounds lonely.” Cas hummed still leaning against the door jamb.

“Nah, I had Sammy. At least there was never a queue for the bathroom.”

Cas snorted, rolling his eyes. “If you think there was one in the Novak house, you’re sorely mistaken. Free-for-all was the only way to survive! It was the Hunger Games of morning routines.”

“Yeah, maybe it wasn’t too bad with just us two.” Dean chuckled.

“Hey, why are you in here? We’re about to play cards.” Jimmy appeared at the door. Or, at least, Dean thought it was Jimmy, until the newcomer reached down and pulled Dean up gently.

“You just answered your own question. We’re up here _because_ of the card games. You all get freaky into it.”  The-person-he-thought-was-Cas-but-might-actually-have-been-Jimmy snarked.

“Oh, come on, it’ll be fun!” Probably-Cas smiled.

“OK, you go, we’ll be down in a sec.” Probably-Jimmy rolled his eyes and pushed off the door jamb, making his way downstairs.

“Have you ever played Mafia?” Cas asked. “It’s one of our favourite card games to play with each other.”

“No, never. How do you play?” Dean needed to find a way to work out which twin was his twin quickly.

Maybe-Cas launched into the rules as they started towards the main room, until he was interrupted by an identical voice. “Stop hogging my boyfriend!”

               “Don’t tell me what to do, you can’t control me! Fight me for him!” the twin that was with him planted a chaste kiss on his cheek and ran to where his identical brother was standing.

               “Uhm…So, you guys know I can’t tell you apart, then.” Dean murmured, feeling his cheeks heat.

               “Oh, they know. They have a weird spidey-sense and they can tell. They have a code word for it. We think they swapped so much when they were kids that really we’re not entirely sure which one actually started Cas, and which one is Jimmy. It’s messed up.” Michael laughed.

               And that was at the point that Dean knew he would never be in the same place as both Castiel and Jimmy ever again. “What’s the code word?” How long had they known?”

               “’Freaky’. Like ‘Freaky Friday’?” Hannah supplied.

“You told me you’d never seen that film!” Dean gasped at the twin he was pretty sure was Cas.

“He’s a master of deception, our Cassie.” Benjamin grinned.

“Can you guys tell who’s who?” Dean asked.

“Mostly. Unless they really try. Hannah can always tell, some kind of weird triplet thing.” Ezekiel gestured vaguely.

“Can you tell now?”

“Of course.” Lucifer smirked. “What kind of siblings would we be if we couldn’t?” He began handing each person one card from a pre-sorted smaller deck of cards until there were none left. The game began and Dean was still unsure of which twin was Cas, until one of them scooted closer.

“I’m sorry. It’s a tradition that the newcomer be fooled by the ‘creepy twin thing’.” Ah, the air quotes. So, this was Cas.

“That’s OK. If I had a twin, I’d do the same.” Dean grinned.

“Dean-o, if you had a twin, I wouldn’t have spent all weekend wondering who’s the hotter brother. You said Sam was 6’4”?” Gabriel’s grin was fiend-like.

“Mmhmm. He’s also 16, Gabe.” Castiel shot him a Look.

“You neglected to mention that.” Gabriel sneered, then shrugged. “I’ll wait.”

Alfie threw a pillow at him.

“I think Dean is the mafia.” Castiel smirked. As the rules went, they voted, and Dean turned over the card Lucifer gave him at the start. King of Clubs. Cas cheered. “I was right!”

“You cheated!” Jimmy shot back. “He trusted you because he thought you were me!”

And that was when Dean realised which twin was which. “You conned me!” He glared at Jimmy, who had in reality been the one who had sat next to him for the entire game. He couldn’t stop the grin on his face, no matter how unfair this was. “That’s it, I’m getting you name tags, or somethin’.”

“Buzzkill.” Cas pouted before slapping a hand over his mouth. The table groaned.

“Someone get the shots!”

That was the las t moment Dean remembered the next morning.  

~-~-~-~-~-~~-~-~-~-~

He awoke in bed, body pressed against another familiar one. His eyes opened slowly, and the first sight he saw was Castiel’s bed-hair. It was truly a sight to behold, sticking in all directions in some gravity-defying mess that Beetlejuice would envy. Dean grinned and began kissing around Castiel’s face gently. His cheeks, his forehead, his jaw where stubble was growing sharp and rough.

Castiel sighed and slid his eyes open. Blue met green and Castiel smiled softly.

“Mornin’, Sunshine.” Dean whispered.

“Good morning, Dean.” Came the reply.

“If you’re not Cas, then I’m in a helluva lot of trouble.”

Castiel laughed, his voice still rough with sleep. “I am he. I’ll teach you how to tell the difference. No-one but Hannah and Jimmy know this. If you tell anyone, I’ll leave you for Kevin from the floor below us.”

“Kevin’s not gay.”

“You didn’t think you were, ‘til you met me. Maybe I’m just magic.”

Dean snorted. “Sure, sure. So? How do I tell you apart?”

Castiel grinned. “Jimmy may be willing to flirt with you to mess with you, but I’m the only one who gets to do this.” Then, he kissed him.  Dean felt like he was home, the familiar scratch of Castiel’s stubble counteracted by the ever-gentle touch of his fingertips to the hinge of Dean’s jaw. Dean was about to deepen the kiss when something hit his shoulder. He turned to face the stinkiest stink-eye in the history of stink-eyes from Jimmy, whose face was half concealed by his sleeping bag, on the air-mattress on the floor.

“I hate you both. Castiel, I’m disowning you. Dean, as a priest, I can and will send you to Hell.”

“Wow, Jimmy, I never took you for a homophobe.” Castiel teased, and Jimmy threw another book at him.

“You know that’s not it. I just don’t want to be present to see someone mackin’ on my twin brother. It’s weird.”

“Really, though, is there a way to tell you apart?”

Castiel looked at Jimmy, who nodded. “Tell ‘im. I don’t wanna be mistaken for you the next time he feels like doing _that_.”

Cas grinned and looked at his boyfriend. “You know I have that scar on my ear from that time I got attacked trying to help that cat from the tree outside the student centre?” Dean nodded. He could just about see the scar now: a thin, pale line across the lobe of Castiel’s left ear. “Well, obviously Jimmy doesn’t have that. But our siblings don’t know about it, so they don’t know to look for it. Now you do.”

“I feel honoured.” Dean grinned.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

They drove back the next day, Dean making sure to wish all the siblings a safe journey back and thank Michael for letting them stay before collecting the correct twin and driving away.

“Thank you for being so great.” Castiel’s voice was quiet.

“You don’t need to thank me, Cas. Your family is great.”

“I know it can be a lot. You handled them all very well. I’m sorry they kept interrupting us when we kissed. They’re immature.”

Dean glanced between Castiel and the road. “I’d handle anything for you, Cas.”

And, over the coming years, Dean would. He’d meet the siblings again, mostly in small groups or individually. Barring a few shaky incidents, the Novaks loved him, and the next time he’d see them all together was in three years time, as he stood with Castiel in front of them all as Jimmy pronounced them married. No-one complained about that kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> if you got this far, good job, cos it took me forever. Comment, please!


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